It has been 18 years now (btw, I am only 21 years old) since I have been living with my mother. That doesn’t mean I do not remember my father’s face ,though I wish I didn’t. Maybe what I am going to post today might have various negative reactions, but this is based on what I have seen.
In India, arranged marriages were very common during my mother’s era, and hence my mum also had an arranged marriage. She had no liking for this man, since the very beginning. They were two different people who had nothing in common. But due to family pressure, she had to marry him. Since the day 1 of the marriage , my mom was treated the way she did not deserve to be treated by her in laws. After one year of her marriage, I was born. She still says that it was her life changing day. This was the day she had regained the love for life and wanted to live just to take care of me. But, my father and his family had the opposite feelings within them. They weren’t happy. Why would they be? A girl baby was born after all! They were hoping for a son who would inherit their so-called property.
My mother still had kept hoping that since a child is born into the family ,they would all change, and that they would learn from their mistakes and try to be a family. But instead, they started torturing my mother more but now I was also included and she was scared as to what they would do to me! My father would get drunk and beat my mother, his mentally unstable sister would carry me and hold me above the water-well, and his parents would hurt my mother just by their cuss words and also threaten to kill us.
For two years my mother tried to make amends and hoped that one day it would all change. But some people can never change, right? These belonged to that category. One night, this had crossed all its limits when my father had gotten so drunk and everyone were in a huge argument for which they blamed my mother and they took a knife to kill her! My mom got so scared that she just carried me and ran into the coffee estate (I used to live in a hill station). Actually this is the part I still remember, maybe I was too frightened myself. My so-called father followed us a little until my mom found a help (some people make me believe in humanity) and we stayed in that house till the next morning and then we left to my maternal grandparent’s house.
Finally my mom had decided to break her silence, she had finally decided for a divorce. She was ready to bare everything and adjust but not in the cost of losing me. She didn’t want to live with her parents because she knew that the situation that she faced was because her parents had forcefully got her married against her will. She decided to leave to another new city and start a new life with just her daughter and here we are 18 years later, the happiest that we’ve ever been! I just wish that my mom had shown this courage even before I was born so that she did not have to go through all this. But I am glad that I have my mother with me and not that inhuman father.
There have been instances where my father has tried to threaten me and my mom even until 4 years back, to get back to the house because their “family value” has been affected by the society because of the incident. But the last time he tried speaking to us, I was old enough to let him know that with my mother, I, her daughter is there to support her and no one can threaten or torture her anymore. I have also told him clearly that he has never been and can never be a father to me. He is a nobody and is not even worth of my hate.
This post is dedicated to my mother to let her know that I am so proud of her for raising me and helping me become the person I am today. I love her so much that I would go against the world if she’d ask me to! She has taught me to love myself and has always been my hero. She is my mother and my father. She made me realize that to call one a parent, they must make you feel that way.
No one becomes a mother or a father just because they are the reason for your birth. If you really want your child to approve you as a parent, you need to show that you care and behave that way. It also matters how you treat your partner in front of your child.
I have learnt who my parent is, and if you have a father unlike mine, thank him today for being the good father he is and also say hello from my side 😀 Thank you 🙂
Your Mystery Woman, xoxo 🙂