Summer vacations…an end of a hectic semester and beginning of a new semester. But this time I feel like something other than my semester is changing, actually a lot is changing. It’s my final year in college!
College is about to end in a year and I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about it. I haven’t made too many good friends as I had in my school here, but I also really like my college life, I love being a student. Past almost 3 years, I have been in a relationship with my senior and I can’t imagine (more likely I don’t know how to) college without him. Whenever my PDA-Couple friends were annoying me, he was always there for my rescue. He made sure I was never bored. He and his best friend were my saviours! And now they’ve graduated, oh my god!! It’s going to be so different without having them to hang around with me. But this is just one of my reasons for fear.
My life is going to change in a year. There’s going to be placements, jobs, and a new life and new people. I don’t know in which direction I am going to go. From tomorrow, my placement training begins and I’m having butterflies thinking about it. It’s just a training programme to prepare us for the placements and all my friends are so normal about it. But I am having mixed feelings of nervousness, shy, fear and excitement. During this training I’ll sort of get to know where I stand and I know it’s definitely not in a good place. I’m so shy to talk that I’m going to screw up group discussions. I really hope I overcome at least a portion of my fear tomorrow 😅
Is it normal to think about the future and be nervous and scared? Is it okay to not have planned what to do and still expect something good to happen?
I really hope I have a good future. My life and as well as my mom’s life depends on this. Our happy future depends on this. I hope I’m able to make my mom proud. I hope I’m able to make her feel secure and pay off her hardwork.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the first chapter of my last year in college. It’s something I’ve been waiting for but I’m scared of as well. I don’t know if I should be glad that I’m going to be done with submissions and exams or sad that I’m going to enter the corporate world. But I’m just going to stay as positive as I can and go with the flow. Is that alright?
Please wish me luck. I need it. Thanks for reading!
Your Mystery woman, xoxo 🙂